Tuesday, July 05, 2011

Dammit!

You ever watch The New Adventures of Old Christine? I love it. She is funny to me. Julie Louis Dreyfuss or whatever... I love her in that role. I remind me of her sometimes.

So, I'm paranoid of being perceived as racist. I'm a blond, middle-aged, white guy. If anybody fits the stereo-type of a racist or The Man... it's me. I failed to mention I'm in amazing shape, stunningly good looking, and have trophy wives on each arm... the reason I failed to mention is it that none of that is true. Middle aged white guy with blond hair, that's true. Paranoid about being perceived as racist, also true.

I ALWAYS lock my car. I've talked about this before... but I can't find where. Maybe it was on facebook.

I pull up to a friend's house and across the street a non-white couple with 2 kids lives. We've chatted in passing and we know each other well enough to wave and say "Hey." That's about it. The day in question there were about a dozen non-white kids in the yard and their parents on the sidewalk as I pulled up. I got out and looked at them and waved to the two people I knew and they waved back... then I was about to put the key in the door and lock it, AS I ALWAYS DO (so I won't lock my keys in the car)... when I froze... oh crap. They're going to think I'm locking the door because of all those non-blondes over there! So. I didn't lock the car. I was only going to be gone like 3 minutes. It wound up being more like five.  While I was gone half the kids and all the adults left.

I was half way down the block before I realized my ipod, previously in the passenger seat, was gone. SONOFA#*&^@!!!! See! This is what I get for being sensitive to what other ppl think! I get screwed! Now, it's not because of the race of the kids that the ipod is gone. It's because there were a half dozen of them, unattended, and I'd left them a crime of opportunity. Dammit! If I'd locked the door I'd still have my ipod. Now I have a steaming pile of nothing.

So, from now on... locking the door. If they get their feelings hurt they can pitch a fit. But I had my ipod stolen dangit! Those things aren't cheap. I'm still pissed about it.

1 comment:

Rob said...

If the iPod was visible from the window, I think you might've had a broken window and a missing iPod to deal with. Anything small and valuable left in your car, like an iPod, should really be hidden like it's drugs. Get paranoid like you're hiding enough crack to get thrown in jail for the next ten years. You should make sure there's now way that cop's finding it unless he knows it's in there.

I really don't get the whole racist thing. I don't think it's racist to lock your car door. It's just common sense. I wouldn't leave my car open if no one was around, and it sounds like you're the same way.

And if someone you don't know thinks you're racist because you look out for your own safety and your own stuff, so what? I don't see why you should care if it's not your friends, and your friends should know better. I mean if a large black man came to your door at three AM carrying a bloody tire iron and asked to use your phone to call AAA, would you let him in because he black and you wouldn't want him to get the wrong impression of you?

My favorite faux racism was on Curb Your Enthusiasm. The main character volunteered to let a family of Katrina victims stay in his house for a little while. They were a black family, and their last name was Black, so he kept referring to them as the Blacks, and everyone thought he was being racist.