Monday, May 20, 2013

Spring means beginnings


bird's egg
Spring is here in Iowa late this year and while the temperatures say spring the summer storms we, and the country are getting say that summer isn't far behind.

I'm still on my vacation and enjoying it still. I got a kayak and have enjoyed kayaking on local lakes, creeks, and soon, rivers. (Not super soon, rain = flooding & rivers are deeper than creeks. I'm enjoying myself but I'm not foolhardy!)

But, my vacation needs to wind up soon. I'd told myself I'd take a week of camping before I ended the vacation but the weather hasn't cooperated in giving me a week of warm without days and days of rain. Last week was warmish but this week is raining, storming. Soon, though I need to get back to the working world. I haven't missed it yet. I'd wondered if I'd be bored after almost a quarter of vacation. I haven't been bored. I've travelled. I've read. I've written. I've taken up a new hobby and quit a bad habit (smoking, as of right now it's been over 15 days since I shoved a cigarette in my face.) I've been hiking, walking, and exercising in an attempt to minimize the weight gain during my quit and while I've gained 5lbs I don't see it getting to be much more than that. I've gotten closer to friends I've made recently and re-kindled friendships & familial relationships that had fallen to the wayside over the years as work kept me out of town and away from friends & family. What I haven't done is become bored.

Someone said that boring people are the ones who get bored. My lack of boredom so far seem a good indication that I am, perhaps, not a boring people. That's encouraging to me. I've wondered.

One of the things about taking all this time off is a little bit meta in that I've been that guy that works at that store for almost 20 years. Finding how who I am without the job has been fun and honestly, I was a little worried I'd have an identity crisis. Perhaps I did a bit and that's why I haven't been blogging as much as I sorted out who I am if I'm not my work. Because the job's gone and I'm still here.

What's the future hold? I'm not sure. I am sure that if I took a job tomorrow I'd like it to be one in which I am a cog in a much bigger machine. I want to be a little spinning gear and not one of the driving gears. I did my time as the motive force behind something giant and it was good and I was good at it. I want to go somewhere though where I can start at the bottom, or at least lower down, and work my way up. I'm pretty frugal as exhibited by my being able to afford to take this long off work without stressing over money, so I don't need a lot of money. I learned a long time ago from something I read that there are two ways to be rich either make a lot more than you spend or spend a lot less than you make. I've done both and fortunately I learned how to do the second before I had to. There's a lot of freedom in that.

So, I'm still here. I'm happy. I'm getting ready to start looking at doors to see which ones I want to step through and I'll keep you posted. I'll post more frequently now. I took some time away to be me for a while and now that I've settled that, as existential as it sounds, I think I'm ready to be me here too. I was worried if I were coming back here too often I'd relapse into old-me. He was a good guy, but he's gone now. The new me isn't necessarily new & improved, just new & different. I'll let you decide if you think he's improved or not. For myself? I'm happy with me now and I'm happy with the years I put in at the old job. They were good years and I did a good job at it. I don't regret it.
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