Friday, February 14, 2014

I'm an introvert...

I'm not unhappy. This is my "neutral" face. :)
"Why do you go sit in your car to eat lunch?" The person who asked it often ate lunch in the office instead of the break room & it was a legitimate question. It's been really cold this winter and most days when I got a lunch I'd go out of the building to eat it.

"I'm an introvert. I need time away from people to charge my batteries. I love customer service. I love helping people but if I don't get away from them after a while I start to get anxious."

"Really? You are so outgoing and happy and... bubbly with everybody, all the time. I'd have never guessed."

"I know, and it's exhausting. I'm beat at the end of the day. I suck at groups. A concert would be hell for me. A crowded bar to go hang out? A nightmare. I fake it when I'm at work. I'm acting. I put on my work costume and it's like an actor dressing for a part. I play the part of someone who is extroverted, charming, and funny who loves large groups of people but it's all acting."

"You're really good at it. I'd have never guessed. You really do seem happy."

"I am happy. Introverted doesn't mean sad. It doesn't mean lonely either. It just means I need some down time to recharge. Extroverts get energy from being around other people and introverts get it when we're by ourselves. It's not a bad thing."

"I didn't mean it like that it's just... I can't see it at all."

"That's because I'm a very good actor. I do it all the time, and mostly people don't know it or notice because if I'm around a lot of people, or at work, then I'm acting. I really like people one on one or even in small groups. But at work... it's a lot. Sometimes I just need to get away for a minute. So, I go eat lunch in my car or go straighten the stock room or take the trash out and patrol the parking lot for litter. Just little breaks is all."

"That's so weird. I'd have never guessed. I've heard you call your work clothes a costume before and wondered why you said that."

"And now you know," I said as I grabbed my lunch bag and clocked out for lunch in my car.

"Huh. Weird," she said as the door closed behind me. I smiled and waved. She smiled and waved back.

So, yeah. That happened.
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