Saturday, April 28, 2012


Abandoned Farm House
Weekends are different when the person I want to spend them with isn't here. I'm left by myself to figure out for myself what I want to do.  I read in Elemental by Brigid Kemmerer, "Boring. Code word for lonely." The thing is I'm neither bored, nor lonely. I'm restless.
I've got things that I want to do.

  • I want to blog (obviously). 
  • I want to read, (I'm currently reading Sprout by Dale Peck and enjoying it.). 
  • I want to practice guitar, and have a bit today.( is really nice.). 
  • I also want to get in the car and drive, watching the front of my car eat the miles of road and crap the future it's just gobbled up into a paved and distant past that recedes, closer than it may appear, in my rear view mirror.
So many choices, and some of them are solitary ones obviously, that if I had company to do them with we wouldn't do them. But while I want to do all those things, doing them doesn't feel like I'm doing something. They're items that, for now, I'd rather were on a to-do list than were things I was actually doing. But I don't know what I want to do instead. So, I'm going to check them off as I do them. I'll still have that restless feeling of wanting to do something, but I'll also have a feeling of having done the things I wanted to do so that's something, right?
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