I joined the US Navy (well, thirty years ago)

January 4, 1988 I boarded a bus to the Naval Training Center in Orlando Florida. It's gone now, a park.
While there, towards the end of the first week I began to pray for someone in my company to die. He sounded like he was going to. He had a dry, hacking cough that was so loud and... abrupt, that the fire bell over the door would resonate and continue to ring after he had a coughing fit. It served to bridge the slight pauses between his coughing fits that lasted all night long. I'm sure he was miserable because I was. He didn't die. Finally I got to sleep. I'm not sure if his cough stopped or if I just finally collapsed after nights of not sleeping because of his noise. I know it happened multiple nights, many, many, many nights and I hated him for it well after it stopped because I didn't trust it to stay gone.

After completing basic training I stayed there in Orlando but moved over to the Naval Training Center, just across the base, where I attended Nuclear Field "A" School as a Machinist Mate. When I finished that I changed buildings to go to Nuclear Power School and did really well in that. That I loved.

FINALLY the reason I'd joined. Science. Nuke stuff. I loved it. I didn't ace it, but I was in the top of the class. As our class dwindled, the attrition rate was huge on the "dark side." It was called the "dark side" because the classes were hard enough that you never saw the light of day because you were studying so much you never got outside. Well, sort of.

Remember the cougher from the first paragraph? He was also in school, but he was still in "A" School for "Electronics Tech" which went longer, and then he was in Power School, but I was still ahead of him. He had plenty of free time and I was doing well enough, even on the dark side, that we hung out a lot. Went to a lot of movies.

I listened to Def Lepard's Hysteria and Guns 'n Roses' Appetite for Destruction on repeat just about non-stop for most of that time. Those are still two of my favorite albums ever. Not just because they're great albums, but because of where I was geographically, and in my life at the time. It was fun and warm, and we were in Orlando, Florida. You know what there is to do in Central Florida when you're young and have no bills? Everything. That's what there is to do.

I bought a car, a white Renault Encore that was, when I looked at the owner's manual, originally owned by a lady from a place called Ogden, Iowa. When I bought it I didn't know I'd soon be moving to a town about 45 miles from there.

So, long story short, too late. That guy with the cough? We wound up getting married last year so we don't introduce each other as "old Navy buddies" quite as often as we did for decades.

So, happy anniversary of joining the world's greatest navy, and I'm glad he didn't die from pneumonia... I guess.

It was a good day...

Soldier Creek Winery vineyard

Some days lately I don't do much. I don't mean I don't do much productive. I mean I don't do much period. I'm going off of an anti-depressant and one of the side effects is I'm tired all the time. Another is that I'm irritable sometimes and another is that I get paranoid sometimes. Now, all those things sound manageable when I know they're about to happen... and to someone who's never experienced it, it sounds pretty minor. And, really, considering the lists of side-effects some people go through, they really are minor. It's only really troublesome when I don't recognize that it's unreasonable. It seems like it would be something you'd notice right away, but that's the funny thing about the brain... it's pretty good at believing what it perceives is real actually IS real. And most of the time, for most people that's true. But sometimes when it gets confused it's not helpful. And then getting a confused mind to convince itself that it's confused so it can relax and stop panicking or wanting to throw something heavy across the room is harder than you'd think. But, I manage. It'll go away soon... pretty sure anyway.

New coasters from a vendor at the winery.

When you go from one stop light to the next and notice the car behind you is STILL behind you and a fight or flight response kicks in because you're now convinced they're following you and mean you harm, complete with shallow breathing and trying to figure out a plan because somehow my response to fear is anger so I go from momentarily frightened to furious... it's really exciting. Now, mostly I'm able to catch myself and point out that I'm being irrational and this is, in fact, simply my brain juices sloshing around wildly as things get back to normal... mostly. I'm tapering off them, but it's sort of a big taper and that's okay. Once things settle down at the new lower dose I'll evaluate if I should go down again or just stay there for a while. I would like to know if they're working; if I need them or not anymore. But it's hard to tell if I don't go off them, you know? I think I'm better, which the doctor tells me means they're working... or I'm better. Which is it? Hard to tell lol. I'll figure it out. No worries. Oh, and if anybody reads the list and sees suicide as one of them, well, it is, but knowing that is a thing there are currently no guns in the house. I'm not a complete idiot... also, less likely to shoot the mailman delivering a package this way too. Can't trust my brain right now. It lies to me and I believe it.

Chicago dog, music by some buddies and grape stomping

But while it's happening it's really real... like the kind of real in a dream where you know it's a dream but you still have to get away from that THING that's just behind you in the dark that you can hear but you can't see? You know you're dreaming but you can't stop yourself. You feel the terror, the fear, the panic. Well, that's what this is like sometimes. I don't get it as much when I don't go out so I stay home and play video games or sleep. Or I work... a lot. I've worked 7 of the past 8 days. That's a lot of 12 hours shifts lol.

Today though, I went to bed about 7AM (I'm on nights and got off work at 6AM) Woke up about 11AM, showered, coffeed up, and went to Soldier Creek Winery here in town where they were having a grape stomping thing with vendors, live music, and many people, several of whom I knew. I felt like a social butterfly as I was greeted repeatedly by people who seemed glad to see me. :) It was nice. But, after a couple hours of that, it was time to go. Oh, I ate food there too. I had a Chicago dog and a bratwurst with spicy mustard. Both were delicious.

Apple Dumping & ice cream

So, I went to the Community Apple Orchard and got an apple dumpling with cinnamon ice cream and a root beer in a glass bottle with real cane sugar, not high fructose corn syrup. It was all delicious.

I followed that up with getting my laundry and bedding done, browsed the bookstore and left with two magazines, got a quick half-hour massage, shopped for food to try some new recipes and here we are. All in all, it was a good day and I like those. Now, if only I could get some sleep... not yet though. I don't want to mess up my sleep schedule.