I like team movies... why?

I like shows like this with teams working together... shows like Avatar the Last Airbender (series not movie) where there's Team Avatar, and Gurren Lagann, and even Naruto, the first series.

They all focus on one of the team members as the protagonist and the protagonist needs to learn to work together with a team and rely on others and they need to learn to trust and rely on him as well to achieve more than they could as a collection of individuals.

That's my favorite kind of movie. Avengers Endgame is an excellent example of that happening. That group of strong, capable individuals, all of whom are accustomed to being the coolest person in the room learning to subsume that inclination into believing that they are powerful cogs in an even more powerful machine that is the team.

Persevering against all odds to achieve great things together when you definitely couldn't do it alone. That will make me happy cry just about every time in a movie or well-done TV series.

One of my favorite things about my previous job as a store manager and as a manager of managers was to see how effectively we could work as a collective, as a team. Everybody moving in the same direction at the same time and all working to carry the whole store along, not just themselves. I feel like I did that okay, helped bring out a team feeling without saying team often at all. I think that metaphor is overused in the workplace.

It's something I miss a lot at this job. It's just me most of the time. I mean, I'm a mechanic on a press. There's not really a lot of use for more than one at a time. But I miss that feeling of being a part of something bigger moving in the same direction for the greater good of something to achieve more.

A thing I do/did... when I'm walking somewhere I pick up stuff on the floor. There's always stuff on the floor that needs picking up. If I'm talking with someone as I walk, less now than before because of my job and social distancing, etc. But if I'm walking and talking and start picking up stuff... it's not long before the other person is too. Not always, but often. I don't say anything, I just do it to see how long it takes them to do it as well... I'd like to think that something like that could be catching. That idea that seeing something needs doing and doing it because we're all in the same boat is a good one to be a part of.

I see it in the shows I listed above.

One of my favorite quotes from a TV series is from Gurren Lagann and it goes something like, "If you don't believe in yourself believe in the me that believes in you." I love that. I've said that to people before. "Do you trust me? Do you think I'm a good judge of character and of people? Do you think I'm stupid or make stupid decisions? Okay then... I believe you can do it. Trust me and believe me and act like you can because I believe in you. Trust and believe me when it's hard for you to believe yourself. Don't let fear stop you. Remember I know you can do it and do it. I know you can."

It works. Having people around you who believe in you, who trust you, who have your back and you have theirs... people are capable of so much more when that's the case. Everybody does better. Everybody wins. I love that. I love that feeling.

I'm often accused of being an idealist. I'm only an idealist because I've seen this happen. I know it's real. I know it can happen and can work. I've done it. I've been there when it was done. I've been a part of it and it's awesome. It's like "being in the zone" all the time because when one character in the show slips or stumbles, they don't even slow down their movement forward because there's someone there to catch them by the elbow and keep them moving forward toward their shared goal.

July 4th -- Independence Day

Happy 4th of July.

Independence Day.

A day in which the United States celebrates breaking off from England to become our own country. At the time we were pissed off that we were being taxed but not getting a say in the way things were done. King George made the decisions and we paid taxes but had no voice.

This year there have been lots of voices raised as people feel like they're not being heard. They feel like they have legitimate complaints about the government of our country that they feel isn't fairly representing them or speaking for them.

From the second paragraph of our Declaration of Independence, a declaration of war against our then legitimate rulers:

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness."

Our country wasn't founded by perfect men. Some signers of the constitution didn't recognize black people as actual people, but as chattel, property. And it wasn't until the 13th Amendment that slavery itself was outlawed. They weren't perfect. The country they built wasn't perfect and still isn't.

But it has, built into it, a system by which we the people, are able to make it better; not just better for us, but better for all of us. We are at our best when we are doing great things in the world. We went to the moon in under ten years. We fought a war on two fronts, and won with help from allies, chief among them, the country we had broken away from 200 years before! We are a country that builds things that are testaments to the human spirit. The Hoover Dam, The Twin Towers. Cape Canaveral.

We are at our best when we try and make things better for ourselves and for the world at large.

Sometimes we lose our way. Sometimes we hear that we aren't the best and we lash out at the person who says it. We get defensive of our country because we genuinely love her, for all her flaws. She's ours and we love her. And we can talk shit about her if we want to, but if someone else does... well... the gloves come off.

Sometimes though, sometimes, maybe we should listen. Sometimes it's okay to admit that while we're a great country full of great people who do amazing things every day... there are those among us who could do better. And we, as Americans, are at our best when we help people become better versions of themselves.

Independence day. It's about freedom. It's a celebration OF that freedom and why we have it. Think though, between now and next year's 4th... are we doing our best to help others be their best? I'm not saying we can't defend our country from legitimate attacks. I'm not saying Al Qaida has a point. I'm saying when enough American voices cry out that there is a problem... perhaps... as good Americans who love this country... we should do what we as Americans do best... perhaps we should try to make it better.. for everyone.

It's not unpatriotic to wish to do better. It's unpatriotic to tell those who are brave enough to tell us when we're falling short of our aim at being the best we can be to shut up and sit down. When we quit looking for ways to get better, when we quit trying to improve, we're done.

It's not about making America great again. It's about every day trying to be better people and a better nation than we were before. That's our job as Americans. If you don't leave your country BETTER than you found it you're doing it wrong.

She's given you a lot of opportunities here. We're a country of great wealth, great resources, and the freedom to exploit them in a way that can improve things for now, and for the future for me, for you, for everyone... but only if we make a point of doing it. Only if we value what our founding fathers valued... what they outlined in the Declaration of Independence when King George wouldn't listen to their concerns the founding fathers had this to say on July 4th, 1776...

"when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security."

We need to listen to these people who are unhappy. We need to pay attention to how we can get better and work to get better. It's what we, as a country, have done for generations. We don't do it quickly sometimes, and we don't do it painlessly sometimes. But we have been a nation of people who strive to be moral, honest, and to help ensure the freedom, liberty, and opportunity for ourselves, and for people all over the world.

We didn't do that by shutting down those within the country who expressed a dissenting opinion. Those times in history were not us at our best. McCarthyism wasn't our best day.

Don't take a criticism as an attack. Take it as an American duty to constantly be better than we were before. Take it as love for the country we all live in. It's okay to love something so much you want to help it be better when you think you can.

I know a lot of people won't like this post. It'll appear political and we, sadly, have reached a point in US Politics where disagreement is seen as unpatriotic, as treasonous, as "if you don't like it get out." That makes me sad. Women didn't get to vote. Black people were originally property, like a suitcase or a walking stick. But we saw that and we tried to be better. It's not unpatriotic to want to be better. It's American.

This picture was taken at my parent's house. I typically go there this time of year to sweat my ass off in Tennessee, see the flowers Mom has blooming everywhere, and eat delicious fried Southern food. I couldn't this year because of the Corona Virus. I wish I could be there. I wish I could have seen my nephew graduate from Navy Bootcamp in Chicago this spring. But, that's not where we are at right now as a world.

These opinions are just mine, they're long-winded as usual, and I doubt anyone will read them if you made it this far Happy Independence Day. Try and do better tomorrow and the next day at making our country better, more free for everyone, and a place the world looks to again for leadership and guidance, and inspiration. That's the America I fell in love with. That's the America I joined the Navy to defend.

Left anti-social media

What I'd thought was a fairly innocuous post on Facebook prompted me to finally leave the platform. Sadly, I don't have a copy of the post. I forgot to grab a screen-grab of it and, well, I've left so I can't go get it. It was along the lines of, "I can't believe saying you wish the police would kill fewer people in their custody has become a controversial political statement."

I had several likes, loves, and cares reacts which was fine, but then I got...

• MaYBE peOplE shOuLDN't ReSISt ArrESt So Much.
• Can'T THey DeFEnD theMSelVeS?

My reaction on the day was very different than how this post reads. I was sad, depressed, and in an almost mourning state. People at work, several people commented that I looked like someone had died and asked if I was okay. I lied... I said I was. I wasn't. That hurt, not the words, but what I felt lay behind the words.

So, yeah. My comment that something as basic as wishing people weren't being killed turned into political talking points. Something I'd precisely said I found unbelievable. And there it was. I wasn't a person anymore, even to other people I liked. I was a sounding board for them to spew their agenda. I wasn't their friend or their family member. I was an audience for them to regurgitate their doctrine onto.

If that's what's social media is going to be during a double-whammy national crisis it can do it without me. If they see me only as someone to talk at and not someone to engage with, and by 'they' I mean more than the two I got replies from. It happens a lot. If they see me not as someone to listen to as well as engage with then I haven't got any real reason to spend my energy engaging with them.

That's normally a reason to remove someone from my stream, just block them and move on, not leave the place entirely. I'm aware of how the Internet works. You don't pick up your toys and go home every time someone says something you don't like. But this time it sort of hit harder because one of the people was my Mom.

I remember saying at one point that I felt like we'd be friends even if we weren't related. We have a lot in common. We like the same books, and enjoy the same things that we find relaxing. Our ideas of a good vacation line up pretty well. I genuinely enjoy visiting my parents and spent my vacations, of which I didn't get many because of the new job, visiting them. Well, did until the whole pandemic thing. I love them and I miss them.

But people change over time. Dad's been addicted to Fox News for years. I genuinely believe if they made a way to just get that on his TV he'd subscribe to that option instead of the other ones because I don't know if he watches anything but that, Survivor, and college football. And honestly, I feel like he's not the same person he was when I was growing up. I don't mean because I'm older or because he's older. I mean because anybody, ANYBODY, subjected to as much of a single viewpoint as that is going to change what they believe and they're going to believe it because it's all there is out there. No other viewpoints matter except the one the person is brainwashing themselves with. Mom lives in the same house. It's the same thing. There's only one viewpoint, period, ever.

Dad's not the only person who does it. Fox News came to exist because a lot of people felt other choices didn't represent their beliefs, their opinions. Particularly conservatives. So, Fox News filled that niche. Talk Radio filled that niche. And now there's a conservative echo chamber that reinforces itself so no other noise or opinion can get in and anyone who doesn't believe it is naive, stupid, and ill-informed.

The left isn't immune to that. Ever watched MSNBC? It's painfully left-leaning. But this isn't about the media. It's about Facebook. If you're curious how biased your news media source is go look here, like actually look and pay attention to what you're looking at. Try and think for yourself without just believing anything but your media choice is wrong. Get differing opinions from a variety of media sources even. But, at the least, look at the chart and read the axes. If you're going to subscribe to a particular propaganda at least do it with your eyes open.

Our current president has no interest in being president of the United States. He's president of his followers as long as they do what he tells them to. If they disagree with him they're fired. He's had the highest cabinet turn-over I can ever remember. Nobody lasts under him. They dissent and they're fired. He brooks no other voices but his own. And his followers, those who subscribe to his media of choice, have decided to emulate him. And so, Facebook has become Us vs Them.

We're one country. We're one nation. We're one family in some specific cases. So, if I say something I think is relatively simple to agree with, "The police should kill fewer people in their custody," and it turns out to disagree with the party line and I get reasons why it's okay to kill people if you're a cop. That's... that's disturbing. That's not listening anymore. It's not seeing me as a person you know and care about. Now I'm just a dissenting opinion and that sucks.

Yes, obviously police can defend themselves. Yes, sometimes a policeman can have someone resist arrest and that person ends up dead, but the punishment for resisting arrest isn't death... but that's not what I was talking about and they know it. But they couldn't ignore the chance for their talking point.

So, since FB had become what it feels like now. Just political sides with no chance for reconciliation, for real relationships... I said before I left, I was losing more than I was gaining by staying. I resisted the urge to leave for a long time because I thought I was a reasonable person. I thought I could see both sides. I hoped to meet people where they were, and engage them in conversation. Not necessarily to change their mind, but to explain mine so they knew I wasn't being willfully stupid that people did in fact sometimes have differing opinions. But I was kidding myself. That wasn't what was happening. Rhetoric matters more now.

So, I left. I was, and am, tired of engaging in that sort of stuff. I'm tired of losing people I care about. Yesterday was a hard one for me. You know how you always feel like you've got certain people in your corner who will at least listen to you? It's sort of like walking down stairs holding a box and you can't tell but you think there's another step and there isn't and your leg jams up into your hip and shakes your whole body? Yeah. That, but in my heart.

So, the only thing I'm keeping is Instagram. It's pictures. Oh, I should be upfront about this. If I express an opinion on my Instagram and you disagree there I'll block you. I'm not on Instagram for debate or conversation. I'm not interested in winning hearts and minds. I'm sharing things I like and that I enjoy. If you don't enjoy them or like them then don't follow me. If you disagree go make your own post. If you think I'm being naive or stupid go say so one your own space but stay off mine.

Comments are turned off for this post. I don't normally do that but in this case, like in the one that caused me to leave Facebook. I'm giving my opinion and, frankly, I don't need yours to inform mine. Yes, that sounds adversarial. I don't mean it that way I simply mean to say I'm allowed to have an opinion. This is what it is. I love the people involved. I feel like a part of me that I could always depend on and rely on to be there is built on sand now. Maybe that's a normal part of growing up. Maybe as we become adults, and at fifty plus I've been adult-aged for a while, maybe we find that we have to rely on new things as we get older. That doesn't mean I can't mourn the loss of what I'd felt was a bedrocklike foundation I'd built my life on... It never occurred to me that I would say "I wish fewer people died at the hands of the police" and my mom would say, "some of them are asking for it."

Blaming the victim hits me hard. Maybe harder than it should. But here we are.

Race in 2020 - RIP George Floyd

The country is on fire right now and...

We need to be part of something that happens, something that changes... there's something sick out there. There's something broken. There's something WRONG.

It's... I'm trying to figure out how to say it while I'm writing it instead of planning this out like I usually do. I'm sorry. (Also: Warning... will contain adult language and a link to a video that is definitely difficult to watch)

I grew up in the South. For my first few years of school, I was a minority, little toe-headed white boy. My best friend was Irna. She was black (I imagine she still is actually... it's not something that goes away). We moved to Germany and I went to High School on an army base there. The army is more racially diverse than a lot of America is, and less important than your color is your rank. Yeah, I know, it's elitist. But, hey, the Officer's Club had better video games. My best friend through high school was biracial, in Germany that definitely counted as black. It was pretty white over there then. I haven't been back for a while so I don't know what it's like now. Back in the thirties and forties they sort of got rid of the ones who didn't fit their interior decorating palette...

I went back to Alabama to go to college and Mom remembers me saying early in going back an observation about the cafeteria at the university. I was disappointed to note that there were clusters of colors. There wasn't a lot of mixing going on. That was in 1986. Everybody was self-segregating into black and white tables.

I got to be Supervisor down in Memphis years later, and I had no white employees for years. None, every employee I had was black. For about four hours I had a white lady working for me, but she went to lunch and never came back.

Something I've learned in all that time is that there are two worlds out there. There are two Americas. There's the one I live in where I and another white male middle-aged friend of mine can trespass, park a truck on someone's business property at night and watch fireworks and not get the cops called on us... and then there's the one where I could be on the news being killed because of what I look like.

That's not political. It's not hippie leftist thinking. It's a fact. And it's hard to watch. It's hard to see over and over again. And it doesn't have to be that way. It's a choice. It's a choice for those people who are doing the killing.

I see people saying, "BLUE LIVES MATTER!" during the conversation and I close my eyes and I close my mouth because there are no blue lives. Blue is a job. If you take off your blue shirt and go to the mall you're not blue anymore. You can live your life without being blue if you want to. You can't take off black. It's there. And it is such a different experience from being white.

Yes. It's better than it was. But that doesn't mean it's good. Better doesn't mean right. If you haven't eaten in 20 days and someone gives you a teaspoon of oatmeal a day, that's better... but it's not good. It's not enough.

Just because things are better doesn't mean it's good enough.

I KNOW you would never do something like this. If you would, you wouldn't be reading my blog. But there's more to it than that. I'm not telling myself "Well, I'd never do that so let's talk about the riots."

Fuck the riots. I could give two shits about the riots in this conversation. That's exactly what keeps happening. The trigger gets drowned out by the noise of what follows and we don't address the trigger. We address the noise.

What else can I do? What else can WE do, to help things continue to get better? Just waiting for the old racists who were raised to think "negro" was the good word so let's all just use that one and they can't complain to die isn't working. Our health care is getting too good. They're living too long. We can't wait for all the racists to die for things to get better. Because they're like gay people. Nobody knows why they keep happening but dammit! Every time I turn around there's another homo or racist sitting on the corner with some cause or another. What the hell man? Gimme a break. I just want to go to work, go to a restaurant once in a while, and go home and watch Survivor with my gay husband. Is that too much to ask? (He's the gay one, not me! Straight as hell! LoL)

The thing is, that's all the people who keep getting killed want. Maybe they want Skittles. Maybe they want help when their car breaks down. Maybe they want to go for a walk. Maybe they want to go for a jog. What they don't want is to live in fear of the police. They don't want to teach their kids to be afraid of the police. They don't want to be afraid they're going to be shot if they have a tail light out that they haven't fixed yet.

They don't want to lay on the ground while a police dog chews on them, LITERALLY CHEWS on them so afraid if they move at all WHILE THE DOG CHEWS THEM that they'll be shot. What world is it that we, you and I, have allowed to exist that they overcome literally every instinct to NOT BE EATEN because their fear of the police is worse than their fear of the dog that is literally chewing on them right then? How have you allowed that to happen? How have I? How have we? Because that's the reality for a black person in today's America.

So, what can we do to fix it? Literally, anybody who isn't trying to help in this situation, anybody who says, "Well, they just need to learn patience. Change takes time..." they're part of the problem.

If two poufs can get married when that was UNIMAGINABLE 30 years ago, then a black man should be able to interact with a law enforcement officer without being afraid he's going to die.

That's all I want. I want our police officers to be the good guys for ALL of us. Not just for my Aryan ass. ALL of us. Including my friends who have more melanin and less skin cancer than me and my family.

If you disagree with anything I've said, please unfollow me. I'm really distressed by all of this, more than I should be for as often as it happens. I should be numb to it by now but I'm not getting desensitized to it for some reason. I guess it's because I think it's important. I think it matters and I can't stop thinking about it.

Mask reviews (It's about face masks so... do with that info what you will)

Masks... They're contentious, and weirdly, to me, a political hot-button that I'm not interested in engaging with you in whether they're necessary or helpful or not. If you don't like masks. Fine. Why are you here? The title was pretty clear on what this was about. There's a whole Internet out there.

If you DO like the idea of a mask and reducing the transmission of contagious airborne diseases, well maybe this info will be helpful.

I ordered cloth face masks from three different companies to see which I liked better. I'll name them here, picture the mask I got from them, the price, and how long it took me to get it along with my opinion about the masks themselves as far as comfort, durability, and wearability. Again, not engaging on the subject of disease control further than to tell you about the materials used and how many layers there were.

My first masks I ordered were from GhostCircus Apparel.

I ordered two of them, a black one and a white one. Right out of the gate I'm going to say they were comfortable the minute I put them on. The material breathed well and my face didn't get too hot. I work in a factory and it's warm in there. They DO fog up my glasses though. You can see they're big enough to cover my mouth and nose. I can chew gum while wearing them without pulling the mask down until my nose pokes out over the top. The cloth straps were comfortable and sized right for my head/face. I could wear them all night without my ears hurting or being pulled forward do I looked like Yoda. These are dual-layered masks with a cotton blend for inside and outside and they wash well and hang dry quickly. I wash them after work and they're dry the next day when I put them on again. (UPDATE: I see from their site they now have masks with wires in them.)

• I ordered these May 12th and received them May 18th. 6 days, under a week. I can live with that. Amazon Prime isn't shipping that fast for me most of the time lately.
• Total cost of order plus shipping was $37.31 which comes to $18.65/mask.

The second company I got masks from was Electric Styles. 

These had a metal piece that was helpful for keeping my glasses from fogging up. When I would breathe the air would go past my ears through the sides rather than up my face into my glasses. This came with a pocket inside as well for a disposable charcoal filter that's good for 8 hours. My shifts are 12 hours so I didn't use them.  These were also double layered masks, I guess triple where the filter pocket is. The material on the outside layer is sort of shiny synthetic. Someone at work said it looked like I was wearing panties on my face. This was the hottest of the three masks because the material definitely didn't breathe as well and my face was overly warm and sweaty all night. But my glasses didn't fog up. I REALLY liked that part.  The nose piece thing was applied with a sticky glue-like backing on the metal and it came with three of them. I don't think they'd survive a wash and I'm pretty sure I'm not going to keep buying them. The mask came with three metal strips that you could use, but once you do they're done, and three of the charcoal filters I didn't use. Breathing in the air seemed to come IN through the mask itself, but breathing out I could definitely feel it was going past my ears. Do with that information what you will. Since I work in a factory and they don't like us having jewelry or bits that can fall off us I only wore this one to work the one time. If it'd been hotter or more humid I'm not sure if the metal piece wouldn't have fallen off.

• I ordered this May 18th and received them May 23rd. So, 5 days, quicker than the first company.
• Total cost of order plus shipping was $22.95 which comes to $22.95/mask. 

Lastly were Daisy Masks.

These were triple-layered masks which was nice. I wondered how well I'd be able to breathe through them. As you can see from the pictures, they're smaller, significantly smaller than the other two mask companies, and that was telling right away. First they pulled my ears forward. You can see that somewhat in the picture on the left with the black and gray mask. These LOOKED the best. I mean, as far as variety goes? Daisy has a HUGE variety of looks and styles and I hoped to like these the most because they were also comparatively inexpensive. But they just didn't fit me. The straps were too small and when I tried to stretch them a little, seriously, JUST a little would've made them tolerable, the material made a tearing sound and was sort of frayed, unraveled in the middle. If you have a tiny head these are fine. But it's not just the ears. See where it hits my chin? When I would talk, or chew gum the mask would pull itself down my face until my nose was out. Because it was so short it rode low on my giant nose after just a few minutes of having it on and then I was just breathing around it and not through it at all. Sadly, this triple-layered mask, with cotton inside, against the face, layer, and attractive and huge variety of outside materials that weren't QUITE as shiny and "panties" looking as the one from Electric Styles, just didn't work for me in any way. I wouldn't wear it just to pop into a store and out again because it wasn't comfortable and wouldn't perform as a mask for me. It'd be uncomfortable ornamentation and that's too bad because they really do have some nice looks. I just wish they were more effective.

• I ordered these May 18th and received them May 29th. 11 Days. Longest of the lot. 
• Total cost of order plus shipping was $24.99 which comes to $12.50/mask.

Summary:

I loved the masks from GhostCircus Apparel and have already ordered more. I have some coming with the wire for the nose. This mask is super comfortable. I wear it for my entire 12-hour shift in a factory setting without complaint and while they're warmer than no mask would be, they're not so hot as to bother me. They allow me to talk and/or chew gum without moving around on my face, and they clean easily to be worn again and again. If you're in the market for a reusable, comfortable, cloth face mask the ones from Ghost Circus are the best I've found. I'm not getting paid to say this or anything. I just genuinely love the masks, the cost is a little high, but these aren't disposable. I've worn mine a LOT and they're still in good shape even after daily washings.